Episode 38 - Boulevard of Broken Dweebs

We’re drawing the line in the sand this week on Saturday Morning Tuesdays and news flash dweeb—you’re out. We’re adopting an Ice-Dancers-Only policy to ensure this podcast is as exclusive as it is willfully obtuse.

This week on Saturday Morning Tuesdays:
Serena can never live up to her glory days as a moon skater • Lucas gets a whiff of that powerful she-wolf musk and chomps HARD on that flavor • Austin gets A Wizard’s Punishment for his shitty wizard words • Moo Montana and Sheriff Terrorbull try to avoid the tender touch of a man • Twist It Like A Mustache

Today's Episode Sponsors: What Have They Done With Cinnamon™ and One Piece of Nasty Corn™

THIS WEEK'S EPISODES

• Sailor Moon (DiC) - Episode 35, "Ice Princess"
  Available on WatchSailorMoon.com (use AdBlock most def)

• Cybersix - Episode 10, "Full Moon Fascination"
  Available as a DVD on Amazon (or the Dark Web?)

• Wild West C.O.W.-Boys of Moo Mesa - Episode 11, "Dances With Bulls"
  Available on YouTube

The Boys: Andrew Eric Davison (Seattle), Austin Bridges (Portland), Rory Voie (Taipei)
The Dad (Audio Production): Kyle Levien (Seattle)

Episode 37 - Bad at Podcast

Pour some chocolate chips and jimmies on these three scoops of Podcast™ ice cream. “Rad creams!” you say, “these sure taste just like my stories!”

This week on Saturday Morning Tuesdays:
Popemaster General Owen Wilson visits us from the steamin’ hot cyberfuture  •  We uncover the secret origins of Johnny Bravo  •  A snowman witch haunts the moguls  •  Cybersix fucking delivers this week with a Screamin’ Lovecraftian nightmare peeper  •  Cheese is milk

Today's Episode Sponsors: Extremely Creamy Charles™ and Seven Milkmen™

THIS WEEK'S EPISODES

• Wild West C.O.W.-Boys of Moo Mesa - Episode 10, "Stolen on the River"
  Available on YouTube

• Sailor Moon (DiC) - Episode 34, "Ski Bunny Blues"
  Available on WatchSailorMoon.com (use AdBlock most def)

• Cybersix - Episode 9, "The Eye"
  Available as a DVD on Amazon (or the Dark Web?)

The Boys: Andrew Eric Davison (Seattle), Austin Bridges (Portland), Rory Voie (Taipei)
The Dad (Audio Production): Kyle Levien (Seattle)

Episode 36 - The Scab Prince: A Sailor Moon Power Hour

Take your crown out of its crown house and put it on your head and be a princess this week with your three best friends the Princess Boys because Gosh Goodness O’Golly it’s another Sailor Moon Power Hour!

This week on Saturday Morning Tuesdays:
Meet your sweeties: Bird Princess, Truck Princess, and Old Princess • Featuring Owen Wilson as Beryl McQueen • Tuxedo Mask is in full bloom • Don’t touch the clam monster’s Dark Wax • Andy’s Anime Demerits: 972 and counting

THIS WEEK'S EPISODES

• Sailor Moon (DiC) - Episode 31, "A Reluctant Princess"
  Available on WatchSailorMoon.com (use AdBlock most def)

• Sailor Moon (DiC) - Episode 32, "Bad Hair Day"
  Available on WatchSailorMoon.com (use AdBlock most def)

• Sailor Moon (DiC) - Episode 33, "Little Miss Manners"
  Available on WatchSailorMoon.com (use AdBlock most def)

The Boys: Andrew Eric Davison (Seattle), Austin Bridges (Portland), Rory Voie (Taipei)
The Dad (Audio Production): Kyle Levien (Seattle)

Saturday Morning Tuesdays' Thursday

Today we get a first-hand look at what CEOs really do. Our very hands-off Chief Executive Officer Patrick Stagaman holes-up in his room to get some actual work done: his annual report on the state of SMT! Surely this will be an incredible 14 minutes of wisdom.

This week on Saturday Morning Tuesdays:
Patrick has the most convincing mom voice • Dad beat me if I tried to get smarter than him • People with beards like to be scratched on them • Is Danimals yogurt still in stores? • If you’ve never seen the children’s show WMAC Masters, do yourself a favor and click this link • Mustard can be scraped off a sandwich, but you can still taste it, it’s ruined

Today's Episode Sponsors: Could it be you, the LISTENER?! Mail in to find out!

FINAL GRADES

• Before the curve - A Gentleman’s “B”

• After the Curve - We’re not telling! You gotta listen!

The Boys: Andrew Eric Davison (Seattle), Austin Bridges (Portland), Rory Voie (Taipei)
The Dad (Audio Production): Kyle Levien (Seattle)
The CEO (A capella Maestro): Patrick Stagaman (Daejeon, S. Korea)

SMT's First Pod-Birthday!

For the first time ever, we three hermit crabs heave ourselves out of our separate shells and mussel our way into a single clam’s house for a one-year birthday retrospectacular. Ever wondered what happened to Sonic, Digimon and Dinosaucers? No? Get out of our clam house.

This week on Saturday Morning Tuesdays:
Rory’s got tall boots  •  The Adventures of Nasty Shark and Gator Maid  •  Villainy, thy name is Robot Nick  •  You know it’s true when the Marlon Brando Tree says you have no friends •  Andy’s Anime Demerits: 966 and counting

THIS WEEK'S EPISODES

• Dinosaucers - Episode 63, "I Got Those ‘Ol Reptilon Blues Again, Mommasaur"
  Available on YouTube

• Sonic the Hedgehog (SatAM) - Episode 17/18, "Blast to the Past"
  Available on YouTube

• Digimon Adventure - Episode 47, "Ogremon’s Honor"
  Available on Hulu

The Boys: Andrew Eric Davison (Seattle), Austin Bridges (Portland), Rory Voie (Taipei)
The Dad (Audio Production): Kyle Levien (Seattle)

Dungeons & Dragons (w/Brian "Yoko" Simmons)

This week we wag our tongues at all those 80s parents by playing the devil’s very own game! Roll a twenty-sided die to see if you enjoy our actual-watch podcast, replete with Gunthieves, Danger Clerks, and our new dungeon friend Brian “Indifferent Viking” Simmons.

This week on Saturday Morning Tuesdays:
Special Guest Brian David “Fourth Name” Simmons betrays his friend by inventing a new punishment currency, Andy’s Bad Boy No-Nos (4 and counting)  •  Susan Sarandon stars in “Stepmom 2”  •  We talk about characters named Hank and Bobby for over an hour and Rory totally drops the ball on “King of the Hill” references  •  An evil demon negs a woke nazi until he attacks several magic preteens with an F-14 Tomcat

THIS WEEK'S EPISODES

• Dungeons & Dragons - Episode 20, "The Dragon's Graveyard," and Episode 23, "The Time Lost"
  Available on YouTube

The Boys: Andrew Eric Davison (Seattle), Austin Bridges (Portland), Rory Voie (Taipei)
Fabulous Guest: Brian Simmons (Seattle but technically Florida I guess)
The Dad (Audio Production): Kyle Levien (Seattle)

Andy's Anime Corner

Andy claws open the lock of his dungeon, shrouding the world in ten thousand years of anime darkness. Will we survive his ceaseless tournament arc of punishment? Will Subs defeat Dubs? Will our waifus ever love us back? Something something Millennium Puzzle UwU

This week on Saturday Morning Tuesdays:
The phrase of the day is “meat juices”  •  Land Sharks just aren’t the apex predator we hoped they’d be  •  A brave new Goggle Boy hops inside a Mr. Bucket for some heavy drilling  •  Class is in session at Onsen High School™  •  Austin has a Rough Time with short person humor and he looks so cute from down there

THIS WEEK'S EPISODES

• Shokugeki no Soma (Food Wars) - Episode 1 - "An Endless Wasteland"
  Available on Crunchyroll

• Tengen Toppa Gurren Lagann - Episode 1 - "Bust Through the Heavens With Your Drill!"
  Available on Netflix

• Lovely Complex - Episode 1 - "Freshmen Year Summer! I'll Definitely Find a Boyfriend!"
  Available on...the internet?

The Boys: Andrew Eric Davison (Anime Jail), Austin Bridges (Portland), Rory Voie (Taipei)
The Dad (Audio Production): Kyle Levien (Seattle)

Alison & Sammy in the 22nd Century (w/Sherlock Holmes)

Consulting Guest Detectives Alison Lührs and Sammy Scott lend us their expertise in honey riddles and monkey puzzles. With Sherlock and his compudroid Watson. In the future. On the moon.

This week on Saturday Morning Tuesdays:
Themes continue to be hilarious and not obtuse  •  Andy barely manages to flash us his Naruto unmentionables  •  Pterodactyls eat up precious moon-children  •  Austin spits on the sterling reputation of notorious moon-werewolf Michael Chiklis

THIS WEEK'S EPISODES

• Sherlock Holmes in the 22nd Century - Episodes 3, 7, and 23.
  Available on YouTube

The Boys: Andrew Eric Davison (Seattle), Austin Bridges (Portland), Rory Voie (Taipei)
Fabulous Guests: Alison Lührs and Sammy Scott (Seattle)
The Dad (Audio Production): Kyle Levien (Seattle)

Summer of Specials: Spider-Man '94 (w/Jason Huff)

Our Summer of Specials has begun! First up is the 1994 Spider-Man animated series with the help of our special guest Jason “Scooter Hooligan” Huff.

This week on Saturday Morning Tuesdays:
The elegance of the Teen Face Dance  •  Miss Spiderman’s Home For Backdoor Pilots  •  A staggering lack of respect for emotional trauma  •  Frank Castle goes nuclear on some cobwebs  •  You know Blade’s mad when he pulls out his stinkbombs •  Schrödinger’s Felicia both is and isn’t a Friday reference

THIS WEEK'S EPISODES

• Spider-Man (1994) - Season 2, Episodes 7, 8, 9 (and 10 sorta)
  Available, y'know, on the internet

The Boys: Andrew Eric Davison (Seattle), Austin Bridges (Portland), Rory Voie (Taipei)
Fabulous Guest: Jason Huff (Seattle)
The Dad (Audio Production): Kyle Levien (Seattle)

Interview - Michael Uslan, Creator of Dinosaucers

Just in time for the August 8 release of the new Dinosaucers comic book, we’re thrilled to present our very special interview with the show’s creator (and Batman producer) Michael Uslan!

The Boys: Andrew Eric Davison (Seattle), Austin Bridges (Portland), Rory Voie (Taipei)
Special Guest: Michael Uslan (Reptilon)
The Dad (Audio Production): Kyle Levien (Seattle)

Episode 35 - Floor-to-Ceiling Diapersix

If you tune into our podcast exclusively for Andy-Shaming, we’ve got a whopper in your hopper. He doesn’t mind, because he’s drooling in his corner and eating wood.

This week on Saturday Morning Tuesdays:
Everything Is Diapersix  •  Pastawatch is back by “popular” “demand”  •  Goblins are real, and they hate the sun  •  Ghosts are real, and they eat cows  •  Darien is catnip for bees

Today's Episode Sponsors: Real Charmanders™ and The Four Separate Sentences That Ladies Love To Hear™

THIS WEEK'S EPISODES

• Cybersix - Episode 8 - “Gone With the Wings”
  Available as a DVD on Amazon (or the Dark Web?)

• Wild West C.O.W.-Boys of Moo Mesa - Episode 9 - “Legend of Skull Duggery”
  Available on YouTube

• Sailor Moon (DiC) - Episode 30 - “A Crystal Clear Destiny”
  Available on WatchSailorMoon.com (use AdBlock most def)

The Boys: Andrew Eric Davison (Seattle), Austin Bridges (Portland), Rory Voie (Taipei)
The Dad (Audio Production): Kyle Levien (Seattle)

Episode 34 - Gary’s Goodbye

This episode we go back to the 50s and have a rousing make-pretend about Rory’s very real 14-year-old son. Are there also cartoons? Yes?

This week on Saturday Morning Tuesdays:
Andy *almost* gains more Anime Demerits, and he’d better be fucking careful  •  Austin takes the gang on a disappointing trip for biscuits  •  Serena eats five whole desserts and hides it from her cat  •  Cat’s Cradle bafflingly wins Meridiana’s Game of the Year  •  Moo Mesa Presents: Snore Weddings and a Funeral

Today's Episode Sponsors: Outer Space Travis™ and Night Games™

THIS WEEK'S EPISODES

• Sailor Moon (DiC) - Episode 29 - “Sailor V Makes the Scene”
  Available on WatchSailorMoon.com (use AdBlock most def)

• Cybersix - Episode 7 - “Brainwashed”
  Available as a DVD on Amazon (or the Dark Web?)

• Wild West C.O.W.-Boys of Moo Mesa - Episode 8 - “Wedding Bull Blues”
  Available on YouTube

The Boys: Andrew Eric Davison (Seattle), Austin Bridges (Portland), Rory Voie (Taipei)
The Dad (Audio Production): Kyle Levien (Seattle)

Special - Wholesome Bears (w/Charlotte Hollingsworth)

Charlotte “Goldilocks” Hollingsworth creeps into our basement and steals secret sips from our bowls of cartoon porridge: Care Bears, Gummi Bears, and The New Adventures of Winnie the Pooh. Are they too spicy, too nasty, or just nasty enough?

This week on Saturday Morning Tuesdays:
Brave Heart Lion violates the Prime Directive  •  The Gummi Bear family is a toxic, gaslighting cesspit  •  Winnie the Pooh takes us to a German expressionist dreamscape  •  Andy’s very specific character impression wages emotional warfare on the unsuspecting

Today's Episode Sponsors: Rude Snakes™ and Simon’s Wine™

THIS WEEK'S EPISODES

• The Care Bears - Episode 50A - “King of the Moon”
  Available on YouTube

• Disney's Adventures of the Gummi Bears - Episode 32 - “Guess Who's Gumming to Dinner”
  Available on YouTube

• The New Adventures of Winnie the Pooh - Episode 1 - “Pooh Oughta Be in Pictures”
  Available on YouTube

The Boys: Andrew Eric Davison (Seattle), Austin Bridges (Portland), Rory Voie (Taipei)
Fabulous Guest: Charlotte Hollingsworth (San Francisco)
The Dad (Audio Production): Kyle Levien (Seattle)

Oops! All Sponsors

We really jammed it up this time! Turns out when Kyle’s not around we accidentally

This week on Saturday Morning Tuesdays:
Everything  •  In This Episode  •  Is Sponsors  •  Just The Ads  •  His palms are sweaty  •  knees weak  •  arms are heavy  •  there’s vomit on his sweater already

Today's Episode Sponsors: mom's spaghetti™

The Boys: Andrew Eric Davison (Seattle), Austin Bridges (Portland), Rory Voie (Taipei)
The Dad (Audio Production): CONSPICUOUSLY MISSING

Episode 33 - Spicy Throwing Shrimp

We accidentally trapped 600 birds in a classroom? Please send help

This week on Saturday Morning Tuesdays:
Austin and Rory tussle to the death in a crystal house  •  Meridiana gets an entire Hitchcock of blue pigeons  •  No one seems to smell the poo gas except Andy  •  Mayor Bulloney just gets a whole dickload of shovels, end of episode  •  We can’t decide what smooched the gooch more: Tuxedo Melvin or Andy’s Animorphs references

Today's Episode Sponsors: Jeff Style’s Back: Jackin’ It Backwards™ and Barnabas, King of Trains™

THIS WEEK'S EPISODES

• Cybersix - Episode 6 - “Blue Birds of Horror”
  Available as a DVD on Amazon (or the Dark Web?)

• Wild West C.O.W.-Boys of Moo Mesa - Episode 7 - “Wetward Whoa”
  Available on YouTube

• Sailor Moon (DiC) - Episode 28 - “Tuxedo Melvin”
  Available on WatchSailorMoon.com (use AdBlock most def)

The Boys: Andrew Eric Davison (Seattle), Austin Bridges (Portland), Rory Voie (Taipei)
The Dad (Audio Production): Kyle Levien (Seattle)

Episode 32 - Rhett Butler's Fat Green Butthole

When we watch an episode of Sailor Moon that’s a real barn-burner, we have a duty to raise it to the sky like a child of prophecy. Please enjoy this incredible spate of kitty cat nonsense.

This week on Saturday Morning Tuesdays:
A nasty man debuts his filthy video series  •  Two cows lock horns in Vaudeville Kombat  •  Return of the Stink Panther  •  Zoycite builds a living coat of sewer mice  •  Andy’s Anime Demerits: 24 and he’s just *steamed* about it

Today's Episode Sponsors: Doin’ It, Jeff Style™ and Still Doin’ It (With Jeff)™

THIS WEEK'S EPISODES

• Wild West C.O.W.-Boys of Moo Mesa - Episode 6 - “Thoroughly Moodern Lily”
  Available on YouTube

• Cybersix - Episode 5 - “Lori is Missing”
  Available as a DVD on Amazon (or the Dark Web?)

• Sailor Moon (DiC) - Episode 27 - “Kitty Chaos”
  Available on WatchSailorMoon.com (use AdBlock most def)

The Boys: Andrew Eric Davison (Seattle), Austin Bridges (Portland), Rory Voie (Taipei)
The Dad (Audio Production): Kyle Levien (Seattle)

CALLING ALL SPIDER RIDERS (w/Dominique Thomas)

Dominique Thomas, Avatar of Nines, Lord of Afroductions, and Keeper of the Sexual Fire rides in on an actual spider and hangs out in our room, and we don’t ask questions because you don’t question miracles.

"Calling all Spider Riders! (Let’s Ride) Spider Rider we do, If you true then you can be too! It's cool, you can join our team, no matter how dark it seems. If you look, the power's inside ya, so strive to be a great rider. We're riding on, so now we're calling all SPIDER RIDERS"
- Possibly Drake, 2006

This week on Saturday Morning Tuesdays:
Hunter Steele gets our blood boiling hot for ruthless spider-related critiques  •  We drop an exclusive bombshell about Drake  •  Shadow, the titular spider, very clearly doesn’t want to be in the show  •  Man triumphs over the tallest, stupidest anime hair that’s ever existed  •  Definitely drink first

THIS WEEK'S EPISODES

• Spider Riders - Episodes 1, 2 & 3
  Available on YouTube

The Boys: Andrew Eric Davison (Seattle), Austin Bridges (Portland), Rory Voie (Taipei)
Fabulous Guest: Dominique Thomas (Seattle)
The Dad (Audio Production): Kyle Levien (Seattle)

Episode 31 - Cybersix Is On Thin F**king Ice (w/Jaine Ye)

Featuring special guest Jaine Ye! Today on Saturday Morning Tuesdays, Cybersix makes a bafflingly tone-deaf blunder and we just, like...like we had to talk about it.

This week on Saturday Morning Tuesdays:
Thrill as we introduce what is sure to be a hit new pasta-related segment  •  Cybersix ruins a perfectly good detective story  •  Austin can barely suppress his salivary glands when talking about famed chain restaurant Red Lobster  •  Hunk Jesus is here, and he wears a tablecloth  •  Sorry Moo Mesa, but hair just doesn’t grow from the top of the pouch

Today's Episode Sponsors: New Salmon™ and Fill-’em-Up Phil™

THIS WEEK'S EPISODES

• Cybersix - Episode 4 - “Yashimoto, Private Eye”
  Available as a DVD on Amazon (or the Dark Web?)

• Sailor Moon (DiC) - Episode 26 - “Grandpa’s Follies”
  Available on WatchSailorMoon.com (use AdBlock most def)

• Wild West C.O.W.-Boys of Moo Mesa - Episode 5 - “A Sheepful of Dollars”
  Available on YouTube

The Boys: Andrew Eric Davison (Seattle), Austin Bridges (Portland), Rory Voie (Taipei)
Fabulous Guest: Jaine Ye (NYC) (Or like, Boston I guess right now) (Or...Boston-area)
The Dad (Audio Production): Kyle Levien (Seattle)

Episode 30 - This is Sourdough

The boys pucker their lips at the yucky sour taste of that lemon bread! Yuck! Almost as sour as some of them dang cartoons we watched.

This week on Saturday Morning Tuesdays:
Rory gifts us our most ambitious theme yet  •  Bag yourself a rain-trapped hunk with this one weird trick  •  Bovine child gangs roam the west  •  Mature romance means learning to love bugs  •  Austin and Rory pine after a cyborg panther  •  Andy’s Anime Demerits: 21 and counting

Today's Episode Sponsors: Zippers for Sisters™ and Justin's Birthday™

THIS WEEK'S EPISODES

• Sailor Moon (DiC) - Episode 25 - “Too Many Girlfriends”
  Available on WatchSailorMoon.com (use AdBlock most def)

• Wild West C.O.W.-Boys of Moo Mesa - Episode 4 - “School Days”
  Available on YouTube

• Cybersix - Episode 3 - “Terra”
  Available as a DVD on Amazon (or the Dark Web?)

The Boys: Andrew Eric Davison (Seattle), Austin Bridges (Portland), Rory Voie (Taipei)
The Dad (Audio Production): Kyle Levien (Seattle)

Special - Beverly Hills Teens (w/Amalia Larson)

Special guest Amalia “Bohemian Garage Party” Larson helps us navigate the lawless world of 1987’s Beverly Hills Teens. You won’t even notice Rory’s out with a mild-to-moderate Boatman’s Lung!

This week on Saturday Morning Tuesdays:
Song or Not Song?  •  The Problematic Adventures of Chester McTech  •  Ol’ Dusties ensure the horse laugh is on us  •  Pizza contest logistics shatter our tender brains  •  Reagan Baybeeee

Today's Episode Sponsors: Shark Box™ and Frustrating Clocks™

THIS WEEK'S EPISODES

• Beverly Hills Teens - Episode 1 - “Double Surfing Double Cross”
  Available on YouTube maybe

• Beverly Hills Teens - Episode 25 - “Ghost Story”
  Available on YouTube maybe

• Beverly Hills Teens - Episode 39- “Hold the Anchovies”
  Available on YouTube maybe

The Boys: Andrew Eric Davison (Seattle), Austin Bridges (Portland), Rory Voie (Taipei)
Fabulous Guest: Amalia Larson (Seattle)
The Dad (Audio Production): Kyle Levien (Seattle)